RELATIONSHIPS

Romantic Revenge Refined

Feeling post-breakup bitterness? Why sanely venting your anger will help you feel better -- and truly move on.By Lynn Harris
Urge to Avenge
After your last -- or worst -- breakup, did you fixate insanely on hatching revenge plots? Dead carp in his car, a vicious virus on his laptop, an e-mail to his mom telling her...everything?!
If so, you're actually not insane -- and you're not alone, according to Alison James, author of the book, I Used To Miss Him ... But My Aim Is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide (Adams Media, 2004). "Either we're all crazy, or we're sane and guys just call us crazy," says James, whose book sets out to prove the latter. When women obsess over elaborate revenge scenarios against an ex, she says, "they feel bad not only because they're going through a breakup, but also because they feel like they're losing their minds." Being told the desire for revenge is normal, she says, is a first step toward feeling normal.
Where does the itch to avenge come from? When should we -- or shouldn't we -- act on it?

posted by M.R.Alice @ 10:15 PM